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[HTTYD] Dragon Treasure OUTTAKE: Memoir

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Dragon Treasure OUTTAKE: "Memoir" (rough draft), a DreamWorks' How to Train Your Dragon fanfic by Raberba girl

 

Excerpt from the fourth draft of Dragon Treasure: A Memoir, by Hadley Vast (with Guadalupe Hernandez):

 

My parents wanted to combine their wedding vow renewal ceremony with my adoption ceremony.  The four of us were joined together as a family at the same time, and even though we'd already been living together for over a year, there was a moment when I could feel the change.  That feeling sort of came and went over the next year or two before finally 'sticking' for good - when I do have it, I can feel to my bones how connected I am to my parents, and how they see Toothless as my brother rather than just a pet or an ESA.

 

The feeling about Stoick and Valka being my parents might have taken a while to stick, but I've always felt like Toothless is my brother.  I never had a name for it until I met Ruffnut and Tuffnut Thorston (not their real names, by the way; they were really enthusiastic about picking their own pseudonyms for this book), but seeing their bond was what made me realize that Toothless is essentially my twin.  There are some ways in which I love him more than my own wife.  (Yes, I said that; yes, my wife already knew that before we got married; no, Toothless and I have never had 'carnal relations' with each other, as Shane would say; and yes, people ask about kinky dragon sex.  Like, a lot.  NO, people.  I said he's my twin, not my incestuous reptilian lover.)

 

Speaking of my wife, her own book is coming out in a couple of months, shameless plug.  Go buy it when it does - if Astrid had to grow up being brainwashed by a religious fanatic anti-dragon hate group, the least fate could do is give her some monetary compensation for it, right?

 

And I'm sure all you romantics out there will be thrilled by our love story, where she and my dragon nearly killed each other and then I got kidnapped and tortured until my left leg was damaged beyond repair before Astrid, realizing that her parents are wackos, managed to help me escape.  The marriage proposal didn't come until years later, and even the romance part took us a while, but I promise there's some kissing eventually.  Astrid is a fantastic kisser.

 

All that started when Astrid and I were fifteen, and it's all in her book, so I won't spoil it here.  I just wanted to say that even those nut jobs can't make me regret living here at the reserve.  We know now how they broke in, and we made sure it will never happen again.

 

Dad transferred to a different position that would allow him to work long-distance, then eventually got hired here for a job that's similar to his old one.  I know what it's like to be helpless and trapped, and I know what it's like to have someone like my dad fighting for you.  It's an incredible feeling to know that someone like him has got your back.  I'm glad that he gets to stick with his life's mission and also be with us at the Sanctuary - he and Mom never want to have to live apart again, and I like being able to still be close to both of them, too.

 

Like I said before, I'm a dracologist now and get to work right alongside my mother, doing what we love most.  The reserve is pretty much the only place in the world where Toothless and I would have been allowed to stay together, and this is where he's finally been able to meet other dragons, become part of a proper flock, find a mate, and start having babies.  (My little dragon nephew Daydream is super-cute, I adore him, Toothless and Empress and even Daydream himself get exasperated with me sometimes for doting on him so much.  Because of the way dragon culture works, I love that kid more than his own parents do.)  There's room for us fly as much as we want, and it's because of Toothless that we discovered the world's last remaining Night Fury flock (that we know of).

 

We were all so afraid that Toothless was the last of his kind, but he's not.  They're clever and stayed hidden, and the only reason they showed themselves to me (and my camera) in the beginning is because of Toothless.  With a very few exceptions (like Pinecone, who's unusually friendly and trusting for a Night Fury), the Furies wouldn't let any humans other me and Mom and, like, two other people even see them clearly.  For a long time (and with Pine being an exception again), I was the only one they would touch and 'talk' to without being shy and jumpy, and even now, their 'list of approved humans' is pretty short.  Mom's theory is that they see me as an honorary dragon, thanks to the scent-marks Toothless is always coating me with.

 

By the way, no, Empress and Daydream are not going on tour.  None of our dragons are, for the record.  Please keep in mind that they are wild animals, the only reason they tolerate us reserve people is because we can speak enough of their language for them to know that we're not a threat.

 

Toothless is the only dragon we can trust to be able to handle fairly large numbers of humans staring at him and getting close to him and touching him and talking to him.  Dragons are kind, amazing creatures, but we are not going to put any of them but Toothless on a stage, for legal reasons if nothing else.  Toothless has grown up around humans his whole life, he's got a human for a treasure, he can understand us better than any other dragon can.

 

Still, I can't say that going on tour is our favorite thing.  Occasionally the reserve is desperate enough that Toothless and I have to get on a plane and give a few seminars and do a few performances and sign lots and lots of stuff and pose for lots and lots of pictures, but, again, not really our favorite thing.  Toothless may have grown up in a cage, but he doesn't belong in one.  He's happiest in the Sanctuary, and I am, too.

 

Lupe (Guadalupe Hernandez, that's her name on the cover next to mine, she's helping me write this book) says that I should tie up all the loose ends here.

 

My birth mother was never found, and honestly, I don't think about her much.

 

I went to visit my biological grandmother once before she died.  Because of her illness, it wasn't a very pleasant experience, but I did want to see her while I still could.  I was given some of her things after she passed away, and I know that she and my grandfather loved me even though I don't remember them.

 

My birth father keeps trying to reach out to me ever since he heard I'm some kind of celebrity, but I know what he's really like.  I went to visit him once, too, and the look in his eyes, above his fake smile, reminded me of Drago Bludvist.  I know what sort of man he is, and I don't want him anywhere near my family.

 

We visit my brother Henry's grave at least once a year (and my grandparents' graves, too).  I never knew him, but I feel a connection with him.  We were born in the same month of the same year, and we were both preemies.  Sometimes I feel slightly guilty that I survived and he didn't.

 

I know that Mom and Dad didn't adopt me to replace him, though some people accuse them of that and I'm sure their grief at losing him was a factor.  I'm pretty sure they would have adopted me anyway, even if Henry had lived.  I know that Mom didn't just adopt me because I'm a dragon treasure, either, even though I tease her about that (and people have accused her of that, too...) and it was definitely a factor.  Just a factor, though.  The warmth in her eyes when she looks at me makes me certain that she would have loved Henry and me together just as much as she loves us both now.

 

Sasheena was two months shy of being a legal adult when the circus was raided.  She was an illegal immigrant, but because of various circumstances, she was granted asylum.  She went through a whole different hell in her birth country before ending up in the circus; I feel like I understand her a little better than I did before dad rescued us.  All I've really heard about her since the trials ended is whatever ends up in pop culture news.

 

Kieran wants nothing to do with us, and he's changed his name to Jacob.  Anything that reminds him of the circus is too painful, and I don't blame him for cutting all ties.  I have no idea where he is or what he's doing now, but I hope he's found some peace.

 

Ruby's name is Jennifer now, though 'Ruby' was always an alias to begin with.  (For the record, I don't know her birth name and I'm not going to pry.)  She and Seth got married pretty much as soon as she turned 18.  Seth invited me to the wedding, and I went because Toothless was invited, too.  I don't think Jennifer particularly liked the idea of hanging out with other circus rescues, but she tolerated us well enough.

 

Seth still keeps in touch.  (I suspect he might even still talk to Jacob and Sasheena sometimes.)  We're almost never able to meet in person, what with me living in Kenya and all, but the few times we are, we usually try to grab lunch or coffee or something.  He's a good guy, and I wish I had the chance to get to know him better.

 

I think that's about it, except for responding to some of the things people ask me or tell me aaaaaaaaalllllllll the time.  Now I'll have the answers conveniently collected together.

 

Frequently Asked Questions!

 

Can you and Toothless come give a presentation / be on our show / etc.?

 

Maybe.  If you want me to bring Toothless to your university/show/etc. for a seminar or performance or something, please talk to our publicist.  We don't do this stuff very often, but the only way you'd even have a chance of booking us is if you talk to Cherise waaaaay ahead of time.

 

I've seen you flying on TV, your flight suit is so cool!  Can I fly on a dragon the way you do?

 

Thank you!  My flight suit is indeed very cool.  Unfortunately, you won't be able to fly on a dragon.  They won't even let you on their backs anyway unless they love you a lot.

 

Why won't you make a fin for Toothless that would let him fly by himself, without having to rely on a human every time he wants to fly?

 

I actually did make a fully automatic fin prosthetic once - but, I kid you not, Toothless freaked out and smashed the thing up and threw it away as soon as I put it on him.  Mom was filming us, so there is video proof.  He either flies with me (or Mom, or maaaaaaaaaybe other people if he's in a good mood and we ask really nicely), or he refuses to fly at all.  It's his choice, we are not "suppressing his natural instincts" or whatever the animal protection extremists claim.

 

You're so lucky!  Can I be a dragon treasure?  Can my daughter/son grow up with a dragon and become its treasure?

 

No, you (or your kid) cannot become a dragon treasure.  The only reason I am one is because TOOTHLESS WAS ABUSED and I WAS ABUSED, and you'd be breaking about a hundred different laws if you tried.

 

Please tell me what I have to do to become a dracologist.

 

Check the resource section at the back of this book.  I do want to warn you that it is not an area of study you want to go into unless you really love dragons, enough to put up with all the saliva and dung and smelliness and danger and dirt and fire that come with them.

 

I love Toothless, he's so cute, my dog/cat does those things, too.  Is Toothless a dog/cat?  I want a dragon for Christmas / my birthday / etc.!

 

No, Toothless is not a dog, or a cat.  (I get this one from kids.)  He is a dragon.  He acts like a dog or a cat sometimes, but he is a dragon.  And no, I'm sorry, but your parents cannot get you a pet dragon, even for Christmas or your birthday.  A dog or a cat is a lot easier to take care of and less destructive, anyway.  Trust me, you'll like having a pet dog or cat better than a pet dragon.

 

You and that dragon are pretty close, huh.  Soooo, did the two of you ever...?  *wink wink nudge nudge*

 

Again, no kinky dragon sex, sorry.  Read Ogechi's book, it's fascinating.  (She even made two versions:  the first one for researchers with all the technobabble, and then a version in layman's language for casual readers.)  Dragons don't have sex for fun the way humans do, they only mate to have babies.  Since I can't make any Night Fury babies for Toothless, he's never been interested - and neither have I, for the record.  Athletic blonde female humans with sassy intelligence and kindness, whose names rhyme with "Hastrid," are my type.  Not winged scaly dudes with retractable teeth.

 

Can you sign this for me?

 

Yes, if you ask at an official event, or if you catch me unofficially without being obnoxious and if I'm not in a hurry.  In those cases, I will sign your nice, normal book/picture/arm/etc.

 

No, I will not sign your boob/butt/etc.

 

No, I absolutely will not autograph your picture of twelve-year-old me or eleven-year-old me in that stupid virgin sacrifice dress.  I didn't even know how people found those pictures until Seth explained some things to me about the Internet.

 

It's a dragon!  I don't believe that you lived in its cage since you were four years old and it never tried to attack you or eat you.

 

Toothless never hurt me because Toothless is a good person.  (I mean, sure, there were a couple of minor accidents when we were both little, but nothing serious enough to even leave a scar.  I'm sure you had some accidents when you were a little kid playing with your siblings, too.)  He is kind and loving and friendly.  He is a dragon, so he will react aggressively if you threaten him or scare him or tick him off, but little-kid me never did that.  I always treated him the way I wanted to be treated, and he's always done the same.  If you had a little brother you absolutely adored and thought the world of, you would never bite him or eat him or whatever, right?

 

(From people who write in:)  Do you have any scars?  (From people I meet in person:)  Do you have more scars under your clothes?  Can I see them?

 

Yes, of course I have scars.  No, I will not remove or adjust any clothing to show them to you.

 

Can Night Furies really heal people by licking them?

 

They don't have amazing healing powers that will magically make an injury disappear, and they can't do anything about illnesses, but their saliva does have antibacterial and numbing properties.  My scars would be a lot worse if Toothless wasn't always licking me every time I got hurt.  And yes, one of our projects at the reserve is working with Fury saliva, trying to see if we can make some effective and cost-efficient medical advances.  And no, of course we would never let our dragons get hurt in the process.

 

Living in a cage for eight years must have been so awful!

 

Actually, living with my dragon in his cage wasn't that bad.  Yes, I wanted to see what the outside world was like sometimes, and yes, some things about it weren't so great.  But the cage was pretty big, and keep in mind that the person I love most was always, always, always with me in that cage, and bad things usually happened to us whenever we had to leave the cage, and the cage prevented a lot of bad things from happening to us, so I've actually never resented the cage thing.  To this day, whenever I can't be in the sky, I still feel safest when I can lock myself inside a not-too-large room with Toothless and hopefully Astrid.

 

Why didn't Toothless just blast out of the cage and escape?

 

The cage was made of berkian alloy, the only metal that's resistant to Night Fury fire.  It actually never even occurred to us to try to blast our way out of the cage, but even if it had, we would have already known it was no use.  Toothless sometimes shot fireballs (not at me, of course) while we were playing or training or if he was upset, and they never had much impact on the bars.

 

I can't really explain why we never made any serious escape attempts.  I think I sensed that we wouldn't have anywhere to go, and we both knew that we'd probably be recaptured again pretty quickly, and the punishment would have been awful, so we never even tried.

 

What was the harem like?

 

I actually don't know much about what went on inside the 'harem,' other than the basics and the stuff that came out during the trials and some things that Seth told me.  I fell under Bludvist's jurisdiction; the others were managed by Hunter.  Seth has written a memoir, too, so you can read that if you're interested in their side of the story.

 

You said your birth mother ran away with you when you were almost two, but you didn't come to the circus until you were four.  What happened in between?

 

I don't really remember anything about those two years I was unaccounted for.  There are some really fuzzy images of rooms and people and my mother making me unhappy and (in hindsight) what I'm pretty sure are drugs, but I don't have any specific memories of anything before the circus.  I wish I could at least remember my grandparents, but I don't.

 

Did you ever go to drug rehab?

 

No, because I was never a drug addict.  I have never knowingly, willingly taken drugs in my life.  Please don't label me and make assumptions just because my biological parents chose to ruin their own lives, okay?

 

How come you never talk about being raped by Drago Bludvist?

 

Because Drago Bludvist never raped me.  Even Eret Hunter Sr. never raped me.  Both of them are monsters and deserve more punishment than they ended up getting, but Hunter never touched me and I never saw Bludvist show the least interest in sex at all.  I'm not defending them, I'm just tired of people jumping to conclusions and then spreading it around as if it's fact.

 

Speaking of Eret Hunters, there's a reason I always emphasize the "Sr.," and it's because Eret Hunter JR. is one of my best friends.  He had nothing to do with his father, he had no idea what his father was even doing to us until after we were rescued, but people have given him such hell about it that he was seriously considering changing his name for a while.  The only reason he never got around to it is because I convinced him to move to Kenya with me, and no one bothers him on the reserve.

 

You probably would have never even met Toothless if you hadn't been sold and abused.  Would you rather have had a normal life, knowing that Toothless wouldn't be part of it?

 

No.  That is how much I love Toothless; if I'd known beforehand how much pain I'd have to go through, I'd still do it if that was the only way we could be together.  When I say I'd do anything for Toothless, I really mean it, and I know he feels the same about me.

 

You should be ashamed of yourself, passing off a dragon as a 'service animal'!

 

I did not 'pass off' Toothless as a service animal just to be selfish (and we never did claim he's a service animal, anyway).  He was as good as one to me, because the panic attacks I suffered were real, and his comfort was real.  If you watch the videos, you'll see that he did things for me that real service animals will do for their handlers.  And no, I really did not ever train him, I didn't even know for a long time that there are animals who are actually trained to help people cope with disabilities.  I think that's really amazing.

 

Anyway, I needed Toothless very much for my mental and emotional health, even if it was hard to convince people of that sometimes, and it's obvious if you watch some of those old videos of us where I'm freaking out.  I didn't train him, but Toothless loves me and somehow, I have no idea how, he knew exactly how to take care of me.  Toothless is amazing.  We're the same age, but a lot of times I felt like he was the older brother and I was the younger one.

 

Have you ever met Winter?

 

Yes, I have met Winter the dolphin.  She's awesome.  There's a picture of me posing with her in the reserve's official photobook.  No, Toothless has not met her, because unfortunately there was too much red tape to cut through.

 

Do you have any tattoos?

 

Yes, I have a couple of tattoos.  Not too many, because Dad threw a fit when I got the first one, and Astrid likes the ones I have but thinks too many tattoos isn't sexy anymore.  I would go to great lengths to make sure that my body stays as sexy as possible for Astrid Hofferson-Vast's tastes.

 

Your life was so horrible.  How can you ever be happy now?

 

My childhood was horrible; my life now is fantastic.  I have everything I could ask for, and the people I love are safe and happy.  The circus didn't break me, and losing my leg didn't break me - I feel stronger than ever.

 

~*~*~

 

This is the end of the book.  I couldn't think of anything suitably heartfelt and sappy to write at first, and none of the stuff Lupe came up with sounded like something I'd actually say.  I hope you really read this book, and didn't just skim for the 'juicy' parts and ignore the rest.  I hope it helps you in some way, whether you've survived your own hell or even just feel inspired to be a little more compassionate toward others.

 

I've said a few times before that I would be dead if not for Toothless, and it's possible he'd be dead without me, too.  That's actually what made me most inclined to believe in God.

 

Jennifer doesn't believe in God (or at least, not a loving and all-powerful one), because she says that if he does exist and he does love her, then he wouldn't have let her suffer the way she did.  Seth got really interested in religion after the rescue, maybe because it was a preacher who tipped off the authorities in the first place, though Seth didn't quite buy the Christianity thing for a long time and sort of cobbled together various spiritual beliefs that he liked.

 

If nothing else, he wanted to believe that he and Jennifer were meant for each other in a literal sense, that he was trapped alongside her because maybe that was the only way he could have met and helped her.  If that sounds similar to the way I feel about Toothless, it kind of is - even though they're separated now, he still loves her and hasn't given up hope that they can reconcile someday.

 

I don't know why innocent people suffer.  (I've heard a few explanations; I'm still thinking about them.)  I don't know if there's some cosmic reason too profound for us mere mortals to understand, or if even the most rotten and evil people should be given the same chances as decent people are given to do the right thing, or if the devil's going around wrecking everything good that he can, or whatever else the reason is supposed to be.

 

I do know that if Toothless had to be captured and hurt, and if I had to be born to parents who cared more about their next fix than they did about their own son, then it was a merciful God who sent Toothless and me to each other.  Like I said, I would do it again if I had to, for my soul-twin's sake.  He would have despaired if he hadn't had me to comfort him and love him and play with him and translate for him when humans were being so confusing and cruel.  I am absolutely certain that I wouldn't have survived if Toothless hadn't comforted me and protected me and taken care of me and taught me what unconditional love is like.

 

There are a lot of wonderful, important things that would have never happened if the terrible ones hadn't.  I can't even imagine what sort of person I would be if I hadn't grown up the way I did.  I love my life so much right now, and my childhood seems so far away, that I'm almost glad things happened the way they did.  (Almost.)  I have to catch myself sometimes and wonder whether it's okay for me to feel that way.  I still don't really have an answer to that.

 

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can help people even if you can't help yourself.  I think that in a lot of ways, they somehow end up being the same thing.

 

o.o.o

 

Author's Notes:  Drago Bludvist is like Yukishiro Enishi in that both of them strike me as being either asexual, or too wrapped up in their Issues to care about sex.  I think that's common with villains in children's stories for obvious reasons, but in-universe, I like the idea of a villain who would do really terrible things, yet have no interest in sexual perversion or even sex in general.  (Maybe it's just because I really hate pervert villains; I dunno.)

 

Dolphin Tale is a movie based on a true story of a dolphin named Winter who lost her tail.  She figured out an alternative way to swim, but her humans were worried that the unnatural motion would damage her spine.  A prosthetic tail was eventually made for Winter; it's a really interesting story.  A lot of amputees have visited Winter and feel a connection with her, and Dolphin Tale 2 has a cameo by Bethany Hamilton, a surfer who's famous for re-mastering her craft after losing one of her arms in a shark attack.  I figured it would make sense if Hiccup (who eventually becomes a famous amputee in this AU) were to visit Winter at some point as well.

 

It occurred to me that this is the first thing I've written from Hiccup's first person POV. XD  For some reason, his canon self intimidates me when it comes to getting so fully into his head. ^^;  For this AU, the first draft of the memoir sounded too much like Jake Mendoza's narration style; I had to tone down the defensive teenager tone. XD  Speaking of which, some elements of this story were inspired by Robin McKinley's Dragonhaven, which, as I keep saying, is my favorite dragon book - I LOVE how she writes dragons in modern times, I've never seen anyone else write about dragons that way.  (Susan Fletcher is the only other person I know of who's written a dragons-in-modern-times book, but I haven't gotten a chance to actually read it yet.)

 

I decided that I friendShip Hiccup & Eret.  I think that Eret is by far the best candidate for being Hiccup's best friend (or, to be more precise, his best human male friend).  I think their personalities are pretty well suited to each other, and they'd get along nicely once they started getting familiar with each other.

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Komori-Moon's avatar
Well, there's my Eret jr. name change question; now I feel silly for asking it.
Is Lupe a random FC, made solely for the purpose of helping Hiccup write the book, or is she official character under a different name?